Dr. Kristin Barnhart

You can call me Kristin. There’s a good chance you’re reading this page by yourself, trying to get to know me a little bit before you bring my name to your partner. I don’t take it lightly when someone lets me into something this personal. I also don’t see your relationship as the argument that finally brought you to therapy. There’s a whole relationship around that argument, with history, love, hurt, humor, and things you may not have said out loud to anyone else. I’ve been a licensed psychologist for more than 30 years, and I’m the founder of Breakthrough Counseling, LLC. I specialize in online couples therapy and also offer premarital counseling and individual therapy. All sessions are online and available to clients located in Connecticut and more than 40 participating PSYPACT states. When we meet, we’ll make room for what’s been hard, but we won’t spend the whole time replaying everything that went wrong. I usually begin by asking one simple question: What’s been better since we last met? Sometimes the answer is something small. You recovered from an argument more quickly. You had one good conversation. You felt a little closer over the weekend. Starting there helps us notice what’s already changing before we turn our attention to what your hopes are for the session. I’m active in our conversations. I’ll ask questions, slow things down when the conversation begins getting away from you, and help you hear what each of you is trying to say. Before we finish, we’ll talk about something you can try during the week so the work continues outside our sessions. I knew in graduate school that I wanted to work with couples. More than three decades later, I still do. Your disagreement may be about the dishes, the schedule, a text message, or what happened at your mom’s. But underneath it, couples are often asking much more tender questions: *** Do I matter to you? *** Do you hear me? *** Are we still on the same team? I love helping couples get underneath the argument and hear what’s really being asked. I also love the moments when I can see a couple beginning to find each other again. A guarded expression softens. They laugh together. One reaches for the other without thinking about it. Those moments can tell us that something incredible is beginning to shift. Both of you need room to be understood, even when you remember the same moment differently. I’m more interested in the pattern that keeps taking over than in deciding which person is right. We’ll look honestly at what needs to change while keeping sight of what still works between you. I want our conversations to help you understand what’s happening and leave knowing what you can begin doing differently. Some couples need help talking when emotions are running high. Others need to understand how anxiety, grief, family history, parenting stress, or an earlier hurt is affecting the relationship now. No two couples need exactly the same thing, so I don’t follow one rigid plan. I draw from evidence-based approaches that include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, DBT-informed skills, Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, strengths-based therapy, and family systems work. I choose the approaches that fit what you’re hoping to change and what’s happening in your relationship. You don’t need to sort through the clinical terms or figure out which kind of therapy you need. I’ll explain what we’re doing and why I think it may help. I belong to a wonderfully whimsical club where I earn badges for trying new things. It’s how I ended up making my own peanut butter, experimenting with pastels, and discovering The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion. I never know what the next badge will have me doing, which is part of the fun. I also love live entertainment. Some months, you’ll find me ushering at a local playhouse, and every now and then I make it to a Broadway show. And when the weather cooperates, one of my favorite ways to spend an evening after work is walking along the shoreline. It’s even better when a friend comes along, and we can catch up while we walk. For those who want the professional details: PsyD in Clinical Psychology, with a minor in Family and Couples Therapy Licensed psychologist for more than 30 years Authorized to provide telepsychology in more than 40 participating PSYPACT states Today, my work is focused entirely on licensed psychotherapy through Breakthrough Counseling, LLC. I no longer offer relationship coaching, although some of my earlier resources may still be available for educational purposes. Couples therapy is the main focus of my practice, and I also work with individual adults navigating anxiety, depression, grief, stress, relationship concerns, and life transitions. I offer premarital counseling for engaged couples who want time to talk openly about communication, conflict, finances, expectations, intimacy, family boundaries, and the life they’re preparing to build together. Christian-integrated therapy is also available when you’d like your faith to be part of our work. Let’s Start With a Conversation You don’t need to have everything figured out before you reach out. During a complimentary introductory call, you can tell me a little about what’s been happening, ask your questions, and get a sense of whether working together feels right. Schedule by calling or texting 860-333-8773.