I have observed over my 9 years as a therapist and prior decade as an educator that humans, no matter the circumstance, are always trying their best. We may be hampered by trauma, mental illness, and outside factors beyond our control, but we are still aspiring to be what we want to be. Thanks to new research into trauma and its impact on our bodies and minds, we now have evidence that self-criticism is the enemy of insight and growth. Most of us are afraid of self-compassion and think it will lead us to become like those who have hurt us. That conclusion is based on mistaking compassion with indulgence. Growth, whether a part of therapy or a part of everyday life, is true self-care and it takes work and effort. It is always important that we keep ourselves accountable but that does not mean we cannot do it without empathy and kindness.
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