Joshua Beckett

THERAPY: THE UNTANGLING I’m so glad you’re considering therapy. And I am honored you’re considering me to support you. There are two things that I hold as a given when you come to therapy with me. The first is that you are here because you have something you want to untangle – that there is something you want to change. Second, I will not be what you expect from a therapist. THIS IS NOT YOUR MOTHER'S THERAPY When I first went to therapy, my mom said, “Why? There’s nothing wrong with you.” She was partially correct. There was nothing wrong with me. And that had nothing to do with whether I should be considering therapy. Therapy isn’t for people who are “broken.” People aren’t machines or objects that break. Human beings adapt when bad things happen to them. I know sometimes people can feel broken. But this is important: there’s a difference between the existence of a problem and the problem being you. The Tangle blurs the line between you and the problem itself, making it difficult to distinguish where the problem ends and where you begin. Together, we'll separate you from the difficulties wrapped around your story so you can write a new one. That’s The Untangling. While you might talk about your mother in therapy, this ain’t your mother’s therapy. WE'LL GO BEYOND LISTENING Therapy is a thing we do together. Yes, I’m really good at untangling, but YOU are the expert on your life. So it’s going to take both of us. I count on that. Somehow your life got tangled up, and the tools you have always used to untangle it aren’t working. Or maybe it seems like they never have. In our work, you can expect no therapist mask, no distant professional persona, no pretense – just authentic connection. You can expect to gain new tools, perspectives, and freedom from the problems that have defined your limits (and perhaps, until now, have defined you). I hope to help you move from wishing things were different to doing something different. THE RISK YOU TAKE TO BE WITNESSED Getting to a preferred way of being, a place of doing something different, requires me to be a compassionate listener and a creative thinking partner – yes. Our work together, though, requires more than my listening. It has to be more than a dialogue – it has to be a relationship in the truest sense. That relationship requires vulnerability. Vulnerability is the risk you take to be witnessed. WOUNDS THAT HAPPEN IN RELATIONSHIPS, HEAL IN RELATIONSHIPS Whether you are coming into therapy with a partner or on your own, the foundation of our work often comes back to relationship -- because our autobiographies do not exist outside of our relationships with others. Relationship is the antidote to disconnection. There is no I without You, you might say. IDENTITY IS A PROCESS My goal is to help you move away from practices that are no longer working and toward a preferred way of being. I also want to help you embrace identity as a process, not a possession. The older I get, the more Walt Whitman’s beautiful and timeless line “I contain multitudes” resonates with me. The complete line is, “Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself (I am large, I contain multitudes.)” Yes! A thousand times, yes! We ALL contain multitudes, many selves, and they don’t always make sense to others, and sometimes not even to us. And that’s okay. I’m comfortable with that. I have been and am so many things. I’m unafraid to show that to you. Come on in and show me all your selves! I’ve had many successes and many failures. I am a multiple-trauma survivor, an out-of-the-box thinker. My life has been messy, but I’m living my best life now. Let’s start untangling your big, beautiful, messy life together. HERE'S A BIT ABOUT MY PROFESSIONAL BACKGROUND I have a degree in Drama from U.C. Berkeley and a master’s degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University. For the first five years of my therapy career, I did nothing but trauma work. Specifically, I worked with survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and other interpersonal violence. Relationships and trauma continue to be the primary focus of my work and what I am most passionate about. I also co-facilitate a support group for adult male survivors of childhood sexual assault. THERE ARE OTHER PARTS OF ME I was born and raised in Los Angeles. I had dogs for 35 years and now have a cat, which shocks me and everyone who knows me. I love throwing clay, woodworking, and gardening. Creativity has been the single driving force of my adult life. If my fingernails have polish, it's because I’m a girl dad. And I’m not just tolerating it, I like it – it makes me feel different in the best possible way. Four core values sustain me: relationship, acceptance, meaning, and purpose. This work is a privilege. Once again, thank you for considering working with me in your quest, whatever that might be.