Kirsten James, LCSW-S

I work especially well with bright, complex kids who don’t always make sense on paper. They may be anxious, rigid, impulsive, intensely emotional, demand avoidant, socially out of step, or constantly getting in trouble for behavior that adults know isn’t quite intentional, but also can’t seem to change. Some are kids whose brains seem to get stuck: on worries, uncomfortable thoughts or feelings, needing certainty, getting something exactly right, or trying to prevent something bad from happening. Their anxiety may be obvious, or it may show up as avoidance, reassurance-seeking, controlling behavior, perfectionism, irritability, or an inability to let something go. Many of the children I work with have ADHD, anxiety, OCD, or are autistic, while others simply have a collection of neurodivergent traits that don’t fit neatly into a diagnostic box. They may hold it together beautifully in one environment and fall apart in another, struggle with flexibility or being wrong, miss the unwritten rules of friendships, or desperately want connection while repeatedly doing things that push other kids away. I’m particularly drawn to the kids for whom the usual approaches haven’t worked very well. They often need more than coping skills, rewards, consequences, reassurance, or another adult explaining what they “should” do. My work is about figuring out what is underneath the behavior, helping the child understand themselves without shame, and finding practical ways to build flexibility, emotional awareness, tolerance for discomfort and uncertainty, perspective-taking, and genuine social connection. Parents are an important part of that work, because lasting change usually happens when we understand the child and adjust the environment around them, not when we simply ask the child to try harder. My style is warm, curious, practical, and pretty straightforward. I use play, conversation, humor, creative activities, and evidence-based approaches depending on the child in front of me. I also work closely with parents and schools when that’s useful, because kids don’t exist in a therapy-room vacuum. Outside of work, I’m married and have three kids of my own, ranging from middle school through college. Parenting them has given me plenty of firsthand experience with the fact that knowing a lot about child development does not magically make parenting simple. I love traveling, hiking, and star gazing.